Thursday, July 8, 2010

Followup on ENFP=ADHD?

Of all my posts, it seems to be "ENFP=ADHD?" seems to be the most popular because of people googling similar phrases. Here's a direct link to it:

I conclude from this that other people must be sensing the relationship. My guess is most people aren't familiar enough with both terms to understand a correlation. But, if you've found your way here through a search engine... then obviously, you aren't most people.

I've had a handful of people in my life like my mom and high school math teacher tell me that I had ADD. Being told that you have "Attention Deficit DISORDER" is not a pleasant thing to hear, so it felt like a kind of insult. No one wants to hear that something is wrong with them, especially when it feels like an insult to your personality and being. But here is the thing, I don't think it's a disorder.  I've found someone to agree with me, and she happens to be a psychotherapist with 40 years of experience. Lynn Weiss, Ph.D. is the author of "Attention Deficit Disorder In Adults: A different way of thinking". She explains that the people who decided to label it a disorder were selected mental health professionals and pharmaceutical companies, both of whom have high stakes in the outcome. In short, by labeling it a disorder, people in the industry can make more money.

I think of being an ENFP, which happens to have a strong correlation to ADD to be a different way of thinking.  We are lateral thinkers, not sequential thinking.  If you are an ENFP and talk to someone of the similar personality type you will know exactly what I'm talking about because you shift from one subject matter to another with ease, following each other's footsteps perfectly.  The communication is visual, lively and engaging.  Its not about how things are, it's about how things can be.  We don't ask what, we ask why.  We have different motivations, a different skill set, and a very different way of looking at things.  We are big picture people, we are people of passion.  We want to do what we love, and we want to love what we do.

We are people who follow our gut instincts, people who make decisions on how things make us FEEL.  We see patterns, we see patterns and relationships everywhere.  Conversations play out in our head, we see the 10 next steps before we even get started on the first.  We move to the beat of our own drum, our schedules are unpredictable, we live in a disorganized way.  Sometimes the disorganization gets the best of us and we end up spinning in circles for a while.  When we stop spinning and get pointed in the right direction, we can make anything happen.  Have faith in yourself that you can do it.  Get help from your support system when you need some guidance.

Here is something that'll help you, written by a fellow ENFPer!

Friday, July 2, 2010

Stepping out

When either taking the jump out on your own, or being pushed there and into a place of self exploration, here are a couple of important things I have learned first hand along the way.

1)  Set up time limits and schedule yourself.  When you leave time to make decisions open, you may never make a decision because you are afraid of making the wrong decision.  There is no 100 percent correct decision, and variable are constantly changing.  If it is time you are taking to try and save money, factor in the extra time you are putting in to save this money, and ask yourself if it is worth the possible outcome.

2)  Trust the people you talk to before you tell them too much.  If you don't feel comfortable with the person or haven't reached the needed level of not tell the person too much.  Yes, there is that possibility that someone may steal your idea or tell others.  But, the larger factor in all of this is that they can bomb your idea and self confidence with one quick blow.  If you let them in too deep without making sure they are qualified to hold what is most precious to you in their hands you are playing with fire.

3)  Use your community.  In life you are up and you are down.  You are in front and behind.  You are novice and you are experienced.  The only way to steadily get ahead is by helping and being helped by others.

4)  Stick it out.  Things don't happen overnight.  You need to be serious and persistent.  People need to see your dedication to want to help you.  There will be waves of good and waves of bad, you need to weather the storm to see the rainbow.

5)  It becomes about the small triumphs and achievements.  When you step out on your own, everything suddenly becomes very real and very personal.  Your stake becomes much higher so the pressure is on to perform.  When things don't work out it feels like the weight was on you to make it successful.  It is easy to stress out when your goals aren't reached, because you are the one responsible.  On the other hand, when things do work out, when things start to click together and make sense...the euphoria takes over.

6) The secret sauce of success.  Projects are made up of many components.  The main of which are people, ideas, timing, and passion.  Most projects will be off balance.  But, once you get that projects where these components can work together in a harmonious fashion, the secret sauce is made and you get a taste of what  makes the most successful companies and projects in the world succeed.

Any more to add to this?  Leave your comment below!